Kalisa is very sad...and a new split of her ..Katie has made her presence known. She likes to destroy things!
Kalisa has done very well with the new drs. Not good news for the foot. Possible surgery and in a cast for up to 3 months!
Kalisa has taken over again-most of the time...her diet is ice cream and candy!
She would be so happy if only that one person would just say hi to her.
There will not be therapy because of having to do a 2 hr drive to go to a therapist.
Our therapy will be only polyvore and maybe reading some books.
Open to any reading suggestions from anyone - any good books that will help us !
Here we thought we would get a new therapist...
it is really disappointing not getting one,
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Betrayed !
We just signed in on here and found out that our therapist who said she retired is now starting to see clients!
Kalisa feels so hurt and betrayed!
We still DO NOT have a therapist and will not be seeing one because we would have to drive 80 miles one way !
Not feasible! And in the winter wouldnt be able to make it there most of the time because of the weather !
She could at least talk to her once in awhile (here on the computer-just a note with Hi in it or comment on her pics once in awhile)- or at least let her call her phone and hear her voice even if she couldnt leave a message.
All of this is so unfair !
Not a good state of mind to be in before a surgery.
She just doesnt know how much this would help K - help her state of mind, depression that she is in - and just K's whole state of being !
Why wont she consider this? To understand this might help K heal.....
What do we do ?
She knows she is the only one that can help K..........
Kalisa feels so hurt and betrayed!
We still DO NOT have a therapist and will not be seeing one because we would have to drive 80 miles one way !
Not feasible! And in the winter wouldnt be able to make it there most of the time because of the weather !
She could at least talk to her once in awhile (here on the computer-just a note with Hi in it or comment on her pics once in awhile)- or at least let her call her phone and hear her voice even if she couldnt leave a message.
All of this is so unfair !
Not a good state of mind to be in before a surgery.
She just doesnt know how much this would help K - help her state of mind, depression that she is in - and just K's whole state of being !
Why wont she consider this? To understand this might help K heal.....
What do we do ?
She knows she is the only one that can help K..........
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Weekend rain
So what else is new! Always rains on the weekend! Poor K never seems to get a break on the weekend!
She did a real nice hairdo awhile ago!
She wont go and get a hair cut since all the head surgery - says "dey pulls my heads-es whens dey cuts its" - so she refuses to get it cut. So therefore it is the longest it has been in many years!
But it is hot on the neck and she must have been bothered by it so she took some large hair clips and just clipped it all over-up off the neck! Some hairdo! But then it was a 4 yr old style! Good thing she cant make rubber bands work in the hair! Hate to see what that would look like if she could.
Well there wont be a therapist - thought we would get one - but would have to drive TWO hrs to see one.
That is not practical. So back to no therapist. So we will be DID forever!
Terry peeked out the other day.
Brandon-her 9 yr old grandson has Aspergers syndrome. An ADHD. He has such a hard time in school. (school starts here in 3 wks) And Evan her 4 yr old grandson is showing signs of both.
How does the saying go ? God doesnt give you more then you can handle?
But when does it ever stop?
When do we get help that we need?
How are we to help them when we need help and support that we dont get?
We lost alot of support when we got cut off the adult survivor site - miss talking with some of the people
on there. Wish we could still be a part of the group. It was nice belonging to a group that understands you.
Still is unfair that one single person is allowed to judge you and decide for a whole group that they can do that to you. The people that are still faithful to us also found it unfair.
She did to us what the rest of society does to us every day.
Well it stop raining - K wants out..........
She did a real nice hairdo awhile ago!
She wont go and get a hair cut since all the head surgery - says "dey pulls my heads-es whens dey cuts its" - so she refuses to get it cut. So therefore it is the longest it has been in many years!
But it is hot on the neck and she must have been bothered by it so she took some large hair clips and just clipped it all over-up off the neck! Some hairdo! But then it was a 4 yr old style! Good thing she cant make rubber bands work in the hair! Hate to see what that would look like if she could.
Well there wont be a therapist - thought we would get one - but would have to drive TWO hrs to see one.
That is not practical. So back to no therapist. So we will be DID forever!
Terry peeked out the other day.
Brandon-her 9 yr old grandson has Aspergers syndrome. An ADHD. He has such a hard time in school. (school starts here in 3 wks) And Evan her 4 yr old grandson is showing signs of both.
How does the saying go ? God doesnt give you more then you can handle?
But when does it ever stop?
When do we get help that we need?
How are we to help them when we need help and support that we dont get?
We lost alot of support when we got cut off the adult survivor site - miss talking with some of the people
on there. Wish we could still be a part of the group. It was nice belonging to a group that understands you.
Still is unfair that one single person is allowed to judge you and decide for a whole group that they can do that to you. The people that are still faithful to us also found it unfair.
She did to us what the rest of society does to us every day.
Well it stop raining - K wants out..........
Sunday, July 11, 2010
No Sleeping
With this back pain there is no sleeping... too painful to lay on the side we always sleep on and cant fall asleep on the other side.
Causing shoulder pain, neck pain and more head pain.
K is even feeling that pain..she usually doest feel the body pain but she does this time.
They are making a back brace - wonder how long it will take and how long we will have to wear it-having a count of 4 in vit D and cant take calcium because of kidney stones - it will take forever to heal !
Like the broken foot - still not healed and only getting worse !
This body is just giving out !
Guess maybe it will give out before the mind ! Maybe not - who knows - this pain may win !
Causing shoulder pain, neck pain and more head pain.
K is even feeling that pain..she usually doest feel the body pain but she does this time.
They are making a back brace - wonder how long it will take and how long we will have to wear it-having a count of 4 in vit D and cant take calcium because of kidney stones - it will take forever to heal !
Like the broken foot - still not healed and only getting worse !
This body is just giving out !
Guess maybe it will give out before the mind ! Maybe not - who knows - this pain may win !
Saturday, July 10, 2010
New Doctor
This is Crystal.
We went to the VA hospital in Tennessee Thursday. That is where we have to go now- there is a doc here closer but we had to go there for meds. We were soon out of those 50 some pills we take daily to stay alive. ( humph.. but what for?).
We couldnt get an appointment here till the end of next month so we were told to go to the ER at the VA to get prescriptions fills. That was an all day affair !
Kalisa was good-took in EVERY thing ! I dont think she missed one fly on the wall !
It was a very long day - with the 2 fractures in our back it was an extremely painful, long day !
The ER doc was a civilian - was really nice and helpful. Kalisa scrutinized him carefully ! But she stayed in !
Tonight we had a really bad rain storm - again ! And there is also that same trigger - the cigarette smoke at the bedroom window!
I had wished that this was a thing of the past and not have to worry about it here ! But no such luck !
The only thing here - there are 2 more dogs in the house and they all bark when someone is around outside (Annie - a welsh corgi and Eva - a chihuahua and then there is Tierra a 6 lb poodle).
So when all 3 get to barking - you know the person outside hears them and leaves !
But I wish they would just let Kalisa alone.
We went to the VA hospital in Tennessee Thursday. That is where we have to go now- there is a doc here closer but we had to go there for meds. We were soon out of those 50 some pills we take daily to stay alive. ( humph.. but what for?).
We couldnt get an appointment here till the end of next month so we were told to go to the ER at the VA to get prescriptions fills. That was an all day affair !
Kalisa was good-took in EVERY thing ! I dont think she missed one fly on the wall !
It was a very long day - with the 2 fractures in our back it was an extremely painful, long day !
The ER doc was a civilian - was really nice and helpful. Kalisa scrutinized him carefully ! But she stayed in !
Tonight we had a really bad rain storm - again ! And there is also that same trigger - the cigarette smoke at the bedroom window!
I had wished that this was a thing of the past and not have to worry about it here ! But no such luck !
The only thing here - there are 2 more dogs in the house and they all bark when someone is around outside (Annie - a welsh corgi and Eva - a chihuahua and then there is Tierra a 6 lb poodle).
So when all 3 get to barking - you know the person outside hears them and leaves !
But I wish they would just let Kalisa alone.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Been bothering me......
This is Crystal- since the day in April when we moved ... something has been bothering me - maybe if I tell about it it wont bother me so much.
I remember packing up the car and it was around 2 AM that morning ( a bad time for us because the preps where usually around that time of the AM ) but after getting into the car I do not remember the next 10 hours - even though we ended up in Norton, VA ( the next town over from Wise maybe 10 miles over) but going the wrong way - out of town - so we called Frank and told him we where lost. He got us turned around and we found our way to "our new house".
I dont remember stopping for gas- which we would have twice and stopping to potty the dog - which would have been when we stopped for gas. Also the drive only takes 8 hrs not 10 hrs !!!!
Also it seemed as though the car seat had been moved back! So that would mean someone else drove my car!
So how did I get the 8 hrs down the road?
Who got me there? How did I get there-here?
That is what is bothering me.....
What happened to me ? Those 2 extra hours?
Did the perps know I was leaving and get Kalisa and have a "last 2 hrs " with her?
Do they know where I am now?
There are times when there is the smell of cigarette smoke outside my bedroom window since we moved here-that is a trigger for her...I dont think she has gone out......but then......
And the rain storms here are fiercee ones- harder and more lightening and thunder....they are really really bad!
Another trigger for Kalisa... but at least there are not any train whistles!
I wonder what happened ????
I remember packing up the car and it was around 2 AM that morning ( a bad time for us because the preps where usually around that time of the AM ) but after getting into the car I do not remember the next 10 hours - even though we ended up in Norton, VA ( the next town over from Wise maybe 10 miles over) but going the wrong way - out of town - so we called Frank and told him we where lost. He got us turned around and we found our way to "our new house".
I dont remember stopping for gas- which we would have twice and stopping to potty the dog - which would have been when we stopped for gas. Also the drive only takes 8 hrs not 10 hrs !!!!
Also it seemed as though the car seat had been moved back! So that would mean someone else drove my car!
So how did I get the 8 hrs down the road?
Who got me there? How did I get there-here?
That is what is bothering me.....
What happened to me ? Those 2 extra hours?
Did the perps know I was leaving and get Kalisa and have a "last 2 hrs " with her?
Do they know where I am now?
There are times when there is the smell of cigarette smoke outside my bedroom window since we moved here-that is a trigger for her...I dont think she has gone out......but then......
And the rain storms here are fiercee ones- harder and more lightening and thunder....they are really really bad!
Another trigger for Kalisa... but at least there are not any train whistles!
I wonder what happened ????
Monday, July 5, 2010
Explain this to me -
Cause and effect - everyone knows about that one...
Synchronicity - well everyone experiences it ...but are not always aware if they are not a sensitive person..
Empathy - well not everyone has that experience of feeling what others do at the same time.....
But what I want to know is this...
A person with DID usually is a very sensitive person to their surroundings....but are alot of DID people empathic?
Like Kalisa? Her and that "siber fred" (silver thread) that connects her to her new mommy ....the way she has the same pains and hurts on the same days.......
Or is it connected by a different way? Not empathy but connected with that silver thread and sometimes are as one?
Kalisa can astal project ......
Are DID people more apt to have some kind of psychic whatever?
Oh- this is Crystal asking.
I was just wondering about this...
Can anyone answer this for me?
Synchronicity - well everyone experiences it ...but are not always aware if they are not a sensitive person..
Empathy - well not everyone has that experience of feeling what others do at the same time.....
But what I want to know is this...
A person with DID usually is a very sensitive person to their surroundings....but are alot of DID people empathic?
Like Kalisa? Her and that "siber fred" (silver thread) that connects her to her new mommy ....the way she has the same pains and hurts on the same days.......
Or is it connected by a different way? Not empathy but connected with that silver thread and sometimes are as one?
Kalisa can astal project ......
Are DID people more apt to have some kind of psychic whatever?
Oh- this is Crystal asking.
I was just wondering about this...
Can anyone answer this for me?
Hi !
Dis bees Kawesa ! Beff-knees (Bethany) doing the numbers fors me. (letters)
Eyes putted all my gwhrils babies ins der berry puritys dresses! Deys all lookeds boo-fuls!
Jonthin(Jonathan) nots bees in de wrights clothes-es cuz his clothes-es bees in de biggeds closets and eyes nots can getteds toos dems wrights now. Maybees a morrows eyes cans getteds toos dems.
Eyes finks dats eyes bees gettings a nutters new babies. Eyes hopeds dats its bees de ones eyes lubs de mosteds!
Crystals bees wheels nices toos mees. She helpeds putteds alll our stuffs aways and it bees wheres eyes cans finds its.
No bodys calleds on de wittle phonses sinces we mobeds here.
Tierras(Tierra - the 6 lb poodle) maded friends wiff Ebas (Eva) de wittle doggie that Ebans (Evan) has.
Eyes not makeds no friends here. De all bees means kids round here. Deys beateds ups Brandons de utter days when he bees widing (riding) his bikes. Sews eyes nots habes no friends here toos pways wiffs. No bodys toos talkeds toos knee-vers.
Sews eyes justs makeds picsures on polys bores.
Eyes putted all my gwhrils babies ins der berry puritys dresses! Deys all lookeds boo-fuls!
Jonthin(Jonathan) nots bees in de wrights clothes-es cuz his clothes-es bees in de biggeds closets and eyes nots can getteds toos dems wrights now. Maybees a morrows eyes cans getteds toos dems.
Eyes finks dats eyes bees gettings a nutters new babies. Eyes hopeds dats its bees de ones eyes lubs de mosteds!
Crystals bees wheels nices toos mees. She helpeds putteds alll our stuffs aways and it bees wheres eyes cans finds its.
No bodys calleds on de wittle phonses sinces we mobeds here.
Tierras(Tierra - the 6 lb poodle) maded friends wiff Ebas (Eva) de wittle doggie that Ebans (Evan) has.
Eyes not makeds no friends here. De all bees means kids round here. Deys beateds ups Brandons de utter days when he bees widing (riding) his bikes. Sews eyes nots habes no friends here toos pways wiffs. No bodys toos talkeds toos knee-vers.
Sews eyes justs makeds picsures on polys bores.
Friday, July 2, 2010
My Turns-es !!!
It bees my turns-es heres ons de wittle tb fings !
Eyes habes toos shares my wittles tb fings now wiffs ebery bodys elses. Sometimes-es eyes nots getteds a turns-es. Dats nots bees fairs !
Eyes nots bees habings a berry goodeds nites wiffs my games-es. (big sigh)
Eyes finks its bees cuz der bees fire cackers outsideds. Eyes fings may bees its bees cuz dey (the firecrackers) bees makings sews muchs-es noises dats dey de-stir-bits mees finkings bouts my games-es and dats bees whys eyes nots dews sews goodeds.
Maybees eyes just goes and makeds some picsures.
Eyes habes toos shares my wittles tb fings now wiffs ebery bodys elses. Sometimes-es eyes nots getteds a turns-es. Dats nots bees fairs !
Eyes nots bees habings a berry goodeds nites wiffs my games-es. (big sigh)
Eyes finks its bees cuz der bees fire cackers outsideds. Eyes fings may bees its bees cuz dey (the firecrackers) bees makings sews muchs-es noises dats dey de-stir-bits mees finkings bouts my games-es and dats bees whys eyes nots dews sews goodeds.
Maybees eyes just goes and makeds some picsures.
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