More post - Fluff Friend

The is Crystal
Kalisa is extremely upset!  She just went to do her fluff friends and found out that one that she petted daily was removed!
This is because that person thinks a pic on ployvore referred to er.  IT  DID  NOT !
It was done because of a VA representative that ticked me off over the phone !
Now K is hurt once again by this person for no reason at all !  Ready to jump to conclusions and point a finger and she is in the wrong !
Poor Kalisa.
Maybe Nonna can help- K is crying so bad right now !

Why cant people be nice to Kalisa?  What did she ever do to them ?

Will try again

This is Crystal- well the fingers are working a little bit better right now.
Let Kalisa play on polyvore and make pics- Nonna a new alter took her to the "Energy House" as she calls it.
I guess it is a meditation temple of some kind.
Terry the host, has all the chakra healing books and things from years ago.  She was into that.
Kalisa calls meditation - "med-cine-nations."

K got to talk to 2 of her polyvore friends and got another new friend there.  She is always happy when someone talks to her.  No one talks to her but there any more.
She is waiting for her new doll to come- it is just now being made.  I hope she will like it.

Her new mommy got a doll from where K gets hers - but it sounds like they sent her the wrong doll!  I hope not-the doll she said she ordered was more then the one it sounds like they sent here.  She needs to ck that out! These are not cheap dolls!

Well I guess I will try the games and see if the brain and eye-hand thing is working.
I hate it when the MS kicks in and the body doesnt want to cooperate !

Bad Morning

This is Crystal - I guess I need to blog more here.
I was going to play the hand-eye-brain coordination games ( good for my MS problem) but the brain isnt working at all this AM !  Typing is even very slow !
Maybe I will go to polyvore instead...

Empath

This is Crystal  -  I  just wanted to explain that Kalisa is an empath.(sp ?)  She is so tied "by my silbers freds"(silver thread) to her mommy -that this whole week is a -if you can call it- a repeat -replay of her mommy's life.
K made "anger" pics, worried about her new doll, checking on it and being disappointed that there will be a delay in delivery, the same kind and spots of pain in the body,etc,etc......
There are many weeks like this.  K knows what is going on with her and how she feels.
K can also astral project.  She does this alot during surgery-both her's and her mommy's.

She knew about her mommy's car wreck and warned her to be careful before it happened that day.I guess that would be called a vision (?).  Yes K is psychic.  I guess that can be both good and bad.
Bad because she can feel the sadness and depression of her mommy but good for K so that she knows her mommy is OK.
I dont know if her mommy believes this-but it is true.

Maybe then some of the stuff K says will make more sense to others when she says certain things.
And there a great carry over I noticed in pics on polyvore at times-some times even the same pic is used and that is really weird when K hasnt seen any pics her mommy has made that day. 
It gives me a spooky feeling.  I guess I need to get use to those kinds of feelings.  I dont feel them all the time- just when that little stinker lets her guard down a little!
Oh well I hear her yelling that she isnt a little stinker! She wants to make pics on polyvore.
Guess my time is up for now! Later.- Crystal

Another Day

This is Crystal. I guess  I am not very good at keeping this up.  Kalisa has been out alot lately-sick- but out doing her thing.
It is 3 degrees outside right now-even the dogs dont like to go out!
It is suppose to snow all week-we already have a foot of snow-we dont need any more!
Have to go to Johnson City Wed for drs appointments-hope it doesnt snow too bad till then.
The foot isnt healing very well and the month needs surgery.

K is getting a new "baby"..was her "Kiss-miss-es prize".
It is depressing knowing that all the professionals have given up on us. How will we ever heal without any help?  I would like to heal.  Kalisa is so strong without any guidance from the outside.
I just dont know what to do.

Alters use to be in the "back ground" but I dont even feel them there anymore.  It is like they are all hiding - just waiting...maybe to see what is going to happen...or waiting for their turn...Anthony who was in "his room" even seems to be emerging in the back ground.... seems as though all the work that was done is now just about all undone.

It is like a dark cave with you standing at the entrance..you want to go in but you dont know what is there...
you are in limbo........

Need Escape Hatch

This is Crystal. Kalisa is doing her thing at not letting anyone out except when necessary-like to drive. Even at the drs she is out any more. I guess to make sure they dont do anything that she would not approve.

I have asked the main VA dr for a therapist - but it hasnt happened.  He thinks it is because there is NOT one that handles DID.  Want else is new!  I wish I was still in Mburg where there a therapist to go to.  "We" actually miss going to  therapist.

The tortoises "furnace" blew up the other day. Cant complain- lasted 2 1/2 yrs going cont at 90-100 degrees! Guess I would blow up too if I did that for 2 1/2 yrs!  They have a rm heater that is at 84 degrees but they seem sluggish and not really interested in eating.  I go to Johnson City to the dr next week- that is where the nearest pet store is at that has a "furnace" for them. (80 miles !) I guess that can be a belated Xmas present for them!
K is getting the Lily Rose doll from Aston Drakes-you have to send in a reserve card-might not get here till Feb.  And for her B-day she is getting her very own "baby Gracie" doll.  She will be so thrilled when she gets that!

The head has been hurting so bad and the MS is kicking in-I guess because of the snow.  We have a really warm day and then it drops in the teens.  Not a good thing for a person with MS.  Makes your life really miserable.  Even goes over to K who doesnt feel very well when it kicks in.  She always wants her blanky and her mommy.

Elizabeth was able to get out the other day and post here. And Charlie tried to get out but K wouldnt let her. After what Charlie did- got us kicked off the Adult Survivor site after posting there.  K was so upset and still is that she cant put her art there. She feels so lost and alone. And she misses her "mommy".  Wish her "mommy" would just write her a "hello" note. K is starting to get depressed.  She usually just goes with the flow but not lately.

K has fould while doing her polyvore art - that a certain bunny is a "safe thing" to have and that her"Enore pjs and animals are safe things".  She would like that bunny-we will have to see about getting her one. She hasnt carried her lambs around since moving here. Asked her about that and only got a stare.
There is one man who does go around and exposes hims self to young girls-K was walking the dog one night and he did it to the teen girls next door.  They were sitting outside.  He did it as he walk passed them.
There is a known child perp that lives the next street over. K hasnt run into him yet.
She still has the flashbacks during the rain storms-rainstorms I dont think will ever be safe to her.

I wonder if that is why (the rain) when we drove here the very first time while "moving" here from PA -that we lost 2 hrs and got lost 10 miles from here? I still dont know what happened those two hrs and I really dont remember the 8 hr drive(that turned into a 10 hr drive) either.  Would like to know what happened that very rainy drive that day.  Maybe someday we will remember. (sign)
Well K wants to do a "picsure".

Sleepy finally...

Well K did a few pics on polyvore and a couple that she "gooed" together and after 2 glasses of lemonade and finishing off a bad of pretzels  she is now ready to quit and try sleeping.
Night mommys-eyes  lubs  yous  berry berry  muchs-es.  Heres  bees a  biggests  bestests  huggs-es  ebers  justeds  fors  yous !