This is Crystal-Charlie has been trying to come out but Kalisa has been holding her off.  I am glad!
Charlie just causes all kinds of trouble.
"We" havent been feeling too well lately-we feel "off".  Dont know what is causing that feeling.
Have a heart dr appoint tomorrow - heart hasnt been beating right and O2 levels are down.  I have been saying for the past 4 yrs we O2 daily.

I would like to know why when one alter is out different senses are more acute then when another alter is out-ex:  my hearing is excellent!  But Terry has bilateral hearing aids.
And K's sense of smell is very keen!
And she can really play some of those computer games ands I suck at them!

You know people have studied the DID process and why alters occur but has anyone ever studied about the different alters and what they feel and sense when they are out?
And why do they all sense something different when it is all the same body?

I have also been given what I am calling "clues" as what means what in the poly pics-some of it makes sense and some of it doesnt.  But I guess something is better then nothing!

Oh well that is the thought for the night!

This is Crystal-we took a horrible fall tonight.
That poor bad foot! I know the metal in that foot is not wear it belongs!  The toe is swollen 3x its size! The whole foot is swollen, ankle and knee.
The floor is what stopped us. Landed on that whole left side!
Cant lay on that side- I think there are bruised ribs and my shoulder popped out and then back in-so that hurts but it popped forward and that popped the collar bone!
And I hit that side of my head that the neurosurgeon said not to for the next 3 years! Turn my head and the whole room spins. I have had 2 concussions before the head surgery and this feels just like that.  That is not good-if is moved that piece of skull......
Cant lay any way in bed-tried all ways.
K is having a fit because she can feel this pain.

I did have a "ding" of an idea with our DID.  I wish Tedi would talk to us -
Kalisa is always saying she has to "find the key to get out".
Well - the "key" is NOT an object.
When the bad men said "dont let her find the key to get out"- they meant dont let her find out how to get out of this world!
But when a world was created by them and no longer was effetive - an environment setting- which K thought it as a world ( of which she has many) they would just create another world and confusion on how to escape it.   That goes into some -what I would call-heavy therapy stuff!

Its like I think last week when the thought after K made a set about the chess world and the Masons-it is a cross over...an over lap of worlds......I wonder how many other worlds cross over?

8/27/12

This is Crystal-I am pretty lousy at posting here-keeping up with "Terry's" life  and Kalisa who is sooo  rambunctious and active!

Well since last time we had an "oper-sa-tions"  - which left about a nickle size hole in the not so fleshly part of your butt cheek!(where the under neath side of your butt cheek sits on a chair).  Had an abscess  there and the doc  fixed it there in the office-but it is not healing so that means a trip to the OR.  So I guess that will be in about 2 weeks.

Also a heart dr appointment and eye appointment to see if they are going to operate on the left eye-something growing over the retina and we are half blind in that eye.
Wish we could get that no good for nothing doc to fix the cyst inside our face-that is starting to flare up again-which means it is eating away at the tissue on the inside of the face again!  Soon we will not have a face to worry about!  There wont be any tissue left inside!

And then that poor foot!  How long do we have to walk on it broken?  We keep turning it because it is so weak and you now can hear the bone snap when the foot turns the wrong way!  I know the bone beneath the little toe is split-you can feel the point of it-but that dr wont operate till BS gets to 7 and that isnt going to happen as long as we have all these other infections in the body! I hope it gets fixed before they have to cut it off!

And then to all the people who have followed us here and on other sites(where one person was writing about us-where we were known as "Katie")-  yes "we" are still alive- but I think that is because of the blood thinners they put us on- so therefore no heart attack yet!  Thank the good Lord on that!  But I really do think it is because of them and the 50 other pills that we take to stay alive- and yes just like any other person who takes alot of meds- yes we get tired of swallowing that many-  but we are still here- which means Tedi- we take our pills like we should and dont need to be jailed in a psych ward because we make the statement that we get tired of swallowing them!  Dont mean we still dont take them-ever think of that?
That was an un-necessary 3 days locked up and a doggie motel bill because we had Tierra!  Boy! Right now with Tierra, Oscar and the 4 puppies!  I dont want THAT  doggie motel bill!
Any body out there need a really spoiled chihuahua puppy? 2 girls and 1 boy-all lap dogs!
I know Me-Crystal wouldn't know what me and k would have done without Tierra when we were alone-she was not only a great companion but a very good watch dog!

Now about the DID part.  We or I should say me- talked to a shrink a couple of weeks ago but that was for being raped when in the Air Force- the result- the one and only living child of Terry's. (she lost 2 daughters)  But the shrink after 2 different times and only about 2 hours worth of talking to us- turned ME-Crystal- and she knew that it was me Crystal she was talking to -turned me into Social Services for abuse, neglect and being incompetent! Well that went over like a lead balloon with me! Held my composure while SS was here but lost it after they pulled out of the drive!  And had to have Frank(Terry's son who we live with) smooth things over with his x-wife because the next day they showed up at her door!  End results -they dropped the case but the SS ladies let the "DID" dx out of the hat-which they shouldnt have.  Have been told we have a law suit there.... ????

A new alter tried to come out several weeks ago-but K wouldnt let them out.  Right now everyone "in there" needs to behave!
K made her "birffs-days & Kiss-miss-es"  lists and a pic on poly of her list.  She hopes to get it all this year.  Good luck and wishing K!

Other then with physical things with the body-and believe it or not K has behaved at the dr for now- nothing new or exciting happening with alters!  Thank goodness for that!

Crystal here-I hate it when they change things around here on the pages! I just get the hang of things and then they go and change it again!
Well we have been zoning out lately-havent done that in a long time-I wonder if it is because these dumb drs around here keep trying to change my medicine!
I think I am going to go to the free programs like we were on before and get back on all the meds before moving to VA.
I know I had a small stroke several weeks ago and the fact that they cant fix my heart- it is the small blood vessels around the heart that are the worst- and that is suffer with the pain- have small heart attacks which will lead up to a big one that will kill you off!
We are just sooo tired!  With the heart thing and then the stomach thing with the bleeding-I think we need blood again....wish we were back in Pa at least there most of the drs listened to what you had to say.
That cyst in the face is acting up and now we have another cyst- next week we go to Johnson City to the heart dr and we will have to wait forever in the ER and have that other cyst lanced and drained and packed!  What fun-just what I wanted to do! And to keep K in her place while we are down there- there are so many things that she can get into!
There is a person on PolyVore that thinks she can control K-we were warned and that problem is I hope solved! K wanted her mommy(who by the way is getting married this month) to help her-but there was no help from her.
Next month we go to the eye dr - I want our eyes fixed so we can see- getting rid of cataracts and whatever is wrong with the left eye that they might be able to fix instead of going blind. Why wait-just do it and get it over with.
ShadowMan has been out several times and made pics on Poly.  And there is another alter who has not reveled a name that has been out.  K lets the wall down when we are really sick.

 ANd that has been alot lately- I am even getting tired of being sick all the time and taking all those crappy pills! But dont worry mom-we dont need to "goeds toos  jails" as K calls the psych wards! Last time that was said we ended up in the psych ward!  And we didnt need to be there because we WERE taking our meds they way we were suppose to!
Well thats all my griping for now!

Forgetting More Noticable (to "us")

Happy 4th July to you too!
This is Crystal-we are loosing it! Bethany helped get all the pics K wanted for a picture and then K forgot what she wanted them for!  K usually isnt bothered by the "I forgot" part of "us! This is a first for her!
So does that mean we are getting worse?
I never know what to think about things somethings.
But it is nice to know that K's mommy still thinks about her. Her sends these -if you want to call it-subtle messages through her poly pics to K. Others dont realize what she is doing- but I do.  She might as well just write to K and be done with it.  Stand up and admit the mistake- it was me who did that pic after a jerk called me all kinds of names over the phone that evening. K was the one to suggest that I do a pic "sews  yous  feeleds betters".  So I did but someone else took  it being for her and that is why "mommy" doesnt "talk" to K.  It really makes me feel bad that happened. And there isnt anything I can do.  She at least can do as she does with others on poly- just a line or two and "hey nice pic".

And the nerve condition-with the jerking of the hands and arms- is getting worse. Doc said take an Ativan when that happens. That stuff is addictive! But the jerking is not only getting more frequent but worse in the jerking it self! Alot of fun when you are trying to eat!

I think there is an alter that is trying to make themself known!weird pics are being collected on poly-not stuff that K would collect!
Sometimes I wish she wouldnt "collect" so many pics she likes"fors waiters(later). I am the one that has to file all of them! We have ovr 200 pages to file right now- really I think it is more like 300!
But it give K something to do that keeps her busy and out of trouble!
I cant even keep my train of thought tonight to do this!
I wonder what is going on?
Life is always interesting! But sometimes I think it is dangerous also.

DISORIENTED Really Bad !

This is Crystal
"We" have been really disorienetd the last three days!
 Driving down the road suddenly you dont recognize where you are- disoriented in WalMAr t(which we never are because K kepts track of things in there), having trouble remembering what we are doing in the middle of doing things- not remembering things and really out of it on the "time" thing!
Woke up at 7:40 the other day and thought it was AM when it was PM!  And that isnt the first time in the past 3 days that this has happend!
I wonder what is going on?

Shadow Man

Well looks like K is playing with "buttons" again!
This is Crystal-been awhile again since I visited here.
Oh-I have to change that hot pink!
This is better!
Well since last time we are going blind in our left eye-but It may be repairable-so I made an appointment to see the dr and see if both eyes cant be fixed so we can see better!
And hoping that the A1C is down to 7 so the foot can be fixed.

Brandon(the host's grandson) will start home schooling when the schools around here start back.
His ADHD is something the schools around here dont or I should say dont want to deal with- past him to 6th grade when he is only reading at a 3rd grade level.  So this program will start him at his"ability" level and it might take 2 yrs for him to catch up to where he belongs.
So things will not be so quiet here during the day any more.

Shadow Man was out just a little while ago and made a pic on polyvore-he didnt sign it - but it was made my him and K says he was out.
That is really strange because she is usually alert and not let other alters out. So K's guard was down!
Anthony an 8yr old boy alter that K and her past therapist contained has been trying to escape from his "room" he was put in. He is a very destructive little boy!

K has been very concerned over "Nathaniel and Nathan" the "little boys" who live in her therapist"s picture that she had hanging up in her office.  She said that those 2 little boys are trapped in the picture and need K's help to get out! The past therapist still has the pictures and K asks about it from time to time.  But recently she has been thinking about it alot!  I hope the therapist didnt get rid of the picture! I would hope she would ask K if she wants its before she does something with it!

K was approached by a person on polyvore-someone who she thought was going to be a friend to her and she found out that that person had plans to try and mind control K !
K is a very stubborn little girl! And when she found out what was going to be tried on her! Well......
But K is aware of that person and no harm came to her-K just needs guidance at times and this was one of those times!
I wish "her mommy" still talked to her and could warn her about stuff like that!
Her mommy talks to other people about her-so why not just talk to her? It would make K the happiest person in the universe!