Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Bitching Time !

This is Crystal and it is time to bitch!
What do I have to bitch about? EVERYTHING !!!!!
Especially since I am not of the real time world and only a part!
Just took me 30 mins to fill up a 28 day pill cassette!  All those pills and for what?  Just to do it again in 28 more days!

And things are only getting worse!  Now they want $3000.00 for the first bag of pills since the new year started! "We"  dont even make that much in one month!  And "our" file has been flagged at drs offices since we owe them so much money (around the $4000.00 mark)  And things are getting skimpy at the food bank- I mean we are very greatful for the food we get there- the only food we have  since Prudential took our disability ck and that is until March of NEXT year! Dont know what we are going to do when the pills run out- cant afford them - dr said it would be about 2 wks and then we might be dead without them.(she said that the time when they thought K wasnt taking meds-she was but no one bothered to stop and ask her)

The pain is getting worse and I get tired of taking all those crappy pain pills- I dont know why I am still here-
I was told - oh about 8 yrs ago - that this is this body's last time for an earthly life - that "we" have supposedly learned all the lessons that we needed to learn and that we would not be coming back to earth to learn any more??????  That is if you believe that - I am not sure about that - or anything for that matter right now! And why "our" inner wisdom right now is reminding us of that?  Questions- lots and lots of question!
But when do you get the answers? Where do you go to find them?  Who is the right person to help you find the answers to these kinds of questions?
People just look at you like you are nuts when you ask these kinds of questions!  Then they want to "lock" you up!  "Go to jail"  as Kalisa calls it.  And they didnt do anything for you there!  The food was crappy, they didnt let you sleep at night, didnt give you the right meds that you were to have and wouldnt even let you go outside!  And then when they did let you go outside - there were 12 ft high fences all around!  Just like jail! Guess K had the right idea there!

Then I look at my poor animals! Dont know what I would do without them-they are the only reason for etting out of bed- and the dog the only reason for going out the door! Was thinking about that tonight.  I need to start a "doggie" fund for when something happens to Tierra.  Even a dog from the pound costs you a couple hunred dollars!  Has to be a little dog - next one very low grooming maintance- thinking about a teacup chihauhua next time around.
Now the "torgus-es" (tortoises) as K calls them - they claim they live to 50 yrs old - so they will out live me.
They are cute to watch and they do have their own personalities!  I feel for them since it is so cold.  They are from the tropical forests- but I hvae had them since they were 6 wks old.  Two of them will be 3 yrs old and the other 2 - 2yrs old come May.  The 2 little guys will no longer have to be in their"condo" come May.  They can be out roaming around like the other two.  That will be nice.

Oh well - body going to hell- falling apart - need hearing aids, going blind, lame - just think - if I was a horse they would just shoot me and put me out of my misery!  Been telling my dr that for the past 6 yrs!  Just take me around the corner to the nearest corn field and shoot me!
Well I guess I should just let K do some pics on "poly-four"  as she calls it.  Now she has it made. Four yrs old and her only worry is that her new mommy wont tal to her.  Her new mommy doesnt realize how much her not talking to k affects this poor old body.   The healing process is a whole lot faster when K is happier.  That we noticed last operation- I dont know what will happen when it comes to a more major one- heart dr still wants to do some work - I said to wait to warmer weather.  Who knows - maybe we will be dead by then!

Well I guess I bitched enough for now - K - its all yours! Go for it! Have fun making pics!
Sorry but i am not even goiing to correct any mis-typed whatevers!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Poor Kalisa

For those who have not read earlier posts- "we" live only 1/2 block from the fire department.....
sirens going off all night and all very close by - the fires.......
K is beside herself...... she thinks they are coming to get her and take her to "jail"......."jail" to her is the psych ward.
A year ago "we" were held - against our will - just because a dr said we took up his time so therefore we were going to be admitted whether we needed it or not - to a psych ward.  So once in awhile when K gets real anxious - she gets really beside herself some nights with all the sirens.  And I guess tonight is going to be one of them.
Her "new mommy" use to let her call her and just leave a voice mail - she wont let her do that anymore...... it use to calm her down to where we wouldnt have to take medication - I would sooner just do a phone call to voice mail then pop pills...... but what can we do now?  And now with the insurance stuff-  soon there will be no pills and then I dont know what we will do........
We will be a royal mess!!!!
And no adult part wants to come out........sometimes I dont want to come out....... Kalisa is regressing back to just a four year old state with no regard to the rest of the world...........there is just no help out there for us.......
We are more then just alone......... we are forgotten.........deserted........abandoned............

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Catch up Time !

Crystal here- we havent written for awhile- been really sick- been really cold here. Heaters I ordered FINALLY came!
Now we have some heat! Living in 60 degrees or below (inside) is for the birds! or should I say the polar bears!  Poor tortoises wouldnt even come out to eat- had to dig them out of their hide (a nice toasty 90 degrees) .
Well lets see- lots of art and clues - if we ever figure out what they go to - K has been busy dressing and redressing all her babies. Checked out the "baby" she wanted from Walmart- not worth the $20 bucks they were asking for it- piece of junk!  Told her if she can wait - we will get her her very own baby Gracie.  All she asked -" how many days-es  does  eyes  habes  toos  waits?"  Guess I will hear that alot till she gets the doll.
Only me and K have been out lately - no other parts around- guess they are all staying in where it is warm. (hahaha)
Been nice - no bad mans around - only 2 drive bys right after he "dropped  obers  deadeds!" (as K says)
Maybe our life is in for a big change!  That would be sooooo  nice!
All the worlds we are finding out about and some of the "people" that go to the worlds.
How do you ever remember all that information?  Makes  my head hurt some nights just thinking about it!
Would be nice to have someone to talk to about some of the things- to get the thinking on the right track.
But the dear sweet gov. screwed "us" over- again!  Medical- might as well say now that the "new year" rolled in - "we" might as well say we dont have any!
Will hvae to find some "free" programs to go on for pills now- cant afford the "great" new change!!! hahahah - Guess no one else is laughing about it either!  No wonder Elizabeth decided to "retire"!  I would too.  I am only 16 and never had to deal with this stuff - glad I never had to all these years!  I think I would have retired long ago!  Wonder if there is an alter iside here that would like this job? (dont hear any one speaking up!)
Well I will let the "thoughts" flow and see what kind of art comes through!