Will Give this a Try

This is Crystal-as I have said in the past I am not one to keep something like this up-Elizabeth was pretty good at it-but not me.
We havent been on poly much- in too much pain to sit up for long periods of time.
Usually the pain doesnt bother K but it has begun to bother her too.
We havent been able to sleep for the past several weeks and being tired and in pain are really getting to us.

And then there are the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas are just 2 more days of the year to us.  I am lucky K is use to not having much of a Christmas and not a Thanksgiving.  We are just to poor to worry about holidays.  K is owed 3 Christmases and 3 birthdays.  She knows if there arent any dollars then she doesnt get anything.  Poor kid-that is the story of her life!  She would just be happy if her mommy would just say hi to her.

Our foot operation has been cancelled.  The dr said we are too sick to be operated on-so we have to get better first.  Maybe after the new year.  We cant sit up for more then 90 mins-the pain is too great.  So we have been living in bed-some life!

Well  K would like to look at polyvore-maybe make a pic.

My Turns-es !

Dis bees  Kaweas.  Beff-knees  helpeds  makeds  de  numbers  heres.
Eyes  habes  toos  habes  oper-sa-tions.  And  nows  eyes  gennas  habes  mores  oper-sa-tions.
Eyes  wishes  my  mommys  bees  heres  wifffs  mees  cuz  she  makeds  mees  bees  safests  whens  eyes  habes  oper-sa-tions.

Eyes  nots  bees  safests  heres,  Deres  bees  a  whites  twrucks  followeds  us  utters  days  toos  de  drs.  And  deys  followeds  us  backs  homes.  Eyes  nots  wikeds  dats  and  Crystals  nots  wikeds  dats  nebers.
Deres  bees  mans-es  outsideds  ats  nights  whens  eyes  takeds  de  doggys  outs  toos goes  pottys.  Deys  bees  deres  ands   waffs  ats  mees  and  pointeds  mees  ands  calleds  mees  retards.
Eyes  nots  goeds  outsideds  septs  toos  takeds  de  doggys  toos  pottys.
Eyes  wants  gets  bikes  buts  Crystals  finks  dats  bees  baddeds  i-d-as.   Sews  eyes  habes  nuff fings  buts  dis  wittles  tbs  fings  and  my  babys  takes  cares  ofs.

Eyes  bees  wheelys  scareds  wasts  nights ands  eues  crwieds  ands  crwieds  all  nights  fors  my  mommys. Eyes  justeds  wahteds  huggs-es  froms  hers  dats  bees  alls.

Well I finks eyes  gennas  makeds  picsures  ons  poly-bores  nows.

Updates

Boy -didnt know that it had been that long since I wrote on here.  But then I am not one for a diary or any thing like that.
This is Crystal - the 16 yr old part that took over since Elizabeth left several yrs ago.
I cant remember all that went on over the summer - but starting back several months ago when we had a heart cath because of daily heart pain- well they said that 40 % clogged arteries arent bad enough to do anything about. I guess you have to wait till you have a heart attack till they do something about it!
Our eyes are no longer able to be corrected to 20/20 - so the "blind" part in  starting.  It is hard to look at something and not being able to see clearly.  Really it is annoying to be truthful!

But I am thankful that that 5 yr mark was past - the one the dr gave us to live- so not we are on borrowed time. And the bad part about it is there arent any drs here who are really drs.
At least in PA the drs all knew us and it was those drs that kept us alive but here- since last winter we have been sick and the drs here just dont give a damn!
And I know that there is a person out there that said-"oh she has been saying she is dying for the past 6 yrs"- well that is true- this body is dying-faster now since moving from PA. She should feel as we do - that we have been blessed for more moments of living - but some people just dont get that.
We pray fro her every night and K looks for a special star for her every night - maybe one day the whole pray will be answered-but sometimes a pray like that isnt answered till that person is ready.

Well we got our hearing aids-one didnt fit right so it got sent back.This past Mon we had to go get the new replacement for it.  Well after driving 2 hrs(!) found out that it was send to the hearing aid place- new but broke! I was mad! So the new one they are going to use the first programing and program it when it gets replaced for the 3rd time and then send it to me.  I like that better.
The 16th Of Nov we have a preop appointment-we are having that left foot done over again! I hope this time they do it so I can get a shoe on the foot!  Means more pins in the toes and not walking on it foe I dont know how long but I hope it will be done right this time- different dr this time.

Then there is the face problem.  It is still eating away the inside tissue of the ENTIRE left side of the face and beginning to creep over to the right side.  The left nostril started to bleed today-I knew that would happen sooner or later. That means it is eating a good tissue - so it bleeds-when it eats completely through the cheek maybe then they will do something about it.  It is a shame that we will have to wait that long to get something done about it.

After the face problem is resolved we will have them work on the right foot which has been broken and not taken care. Yes it is extremely painful walking on 2 broken feet and having 3 broken vertebrae in the back and 3 tumors in the back.  We usually can sit up for about 1-2 hrs and then have to lay down.
And to have to make that 2 hr dr to the VA hospital -be up for  another 2-3 hrs and 2 hrs home- I am ready to lay down and die in pain when we get home.
The pain is finally hitting K.  Before it didnt bother her but now it does.
Last night we hurt so back and she was out-all she did was cry for her mommy to come and hold her and make her feel better.  Other alters have tried to comfort her- but only her mommy can comfort her. If only her mommy would just give her a one liner of K I am here for you Im holding her,shh go so sleep.  She use to do that in the past ands it work and I bet it would still work-and she just doesnt know how much it would help this poor body all around. She is comforting total strangers out there but would even help this one person who needs her the most.
I wonder how much guilt she will have after this body is dead.

Well that is the medical part of the body-I wish there wasnt anything but DID wrong - because we are so sick so often - we get really angry and very tired.
Sometimes all K wants is for her mommy to acknowledge her - sometimes she wants her mommy just yo hold her  - but she is just like any other 4 yr who just wants her mommy.  But her mommy doesnt want to understand that.  Not in the therapist way-  but in a "I want my mommy" way.  A child-hurt, sick, frighten or whatever that wants their mommy.

FREEDOM 5.19.11

This is Crystal
This not only is about freedom from the life we have know these past 57 years... yes it has been 57 years.
Only this past year Kalisa has been "safe" from the horrors of the perps that have abused her all those years.
She still fears the rain-they usually came for her during a rain storm and took her where ever and abused her..but this is not only about that kind of freedom.

This is also about freedom of speech and freedom from fear..........freedom of speech starts now for "us".
We- really Elizabeth- a grow up part - had asked someone to tell our story.  But that someone got angry with us and we just recently found out that "our" story has disappeared, reappeared and disappeared again.
So we had to check this out - but what is so upsetting is the truth for the "disappearing" part was not told.

"We" are the Katie (Kalisa) and Christina (Terry)  from the blog site Believe the Children.  Elizabeth gave permission to tell our story.  Oh there are still parts in there- such as being afraid of police, firemen and ambulance & train noises - and the ER and the way we were treated.  And there are bits and pieces in there that refer to things that happened to us - but the real reason the story was removed was because someone thought a pic on ployvore was about them - but it wasnt - it had to do with a man on the phone that day that called me every name in the book!  So I did a pic about how I felt.

The results were - Kalisa had a fluff friend she petted every day blocked so she is no longer able to pet this little fluff friend. And we are blocked from other sites also.
This may all sound trivial but to Kalisa it isnt.  This is her life - her "babies" (dolls) her "poly-bore"  and her fluff friends.  She doesnt have any "freedom".   She has not learned how to "trust" bigs and with no one to help us learn - we are like the middle pic- our hands are tied - where/when is the freedom?

We have been silent about this out of fear- yes fear..... to speak about this when it has been bothering us... but then we remembered something- "no one can make you feel guilty unless you let them".
Well doesnt that go for the same thing when it comes to fear?   So if we state how we feel about it-like they say write it down - well that is what we are doing......a little bit of therapy here!
And the same goes for the sayings by the girl jumping from the bird cage!

And as far as time-well maybe the heart will give out before "we" ever know what real freedom is from the perps and fear from others - but this is one thing that we are no longer going to fear-this is all part of "our" story and we have every much right to tell it like it is. And we did not choose to make it part of our story-it was made for us but we are telling it.

The heart has stabilized - for now-  but the last surgery did not go well with the injury to the face and there was suppose to be a repeat -yesterday- but due to the blood- we take blood thinners for the heart- it could not be done.  Not until the clotting factor is higher-doc said he didnt want us bleeding all over the place on him.!  So that is postponed for another month!  We are not happy with the time frame on that!  I think he is waiting too long!

As far as the brain surgery-the leak has stopped-that was scary! And made your head hurt alot!
And I dont know how much of "our" story was on there about K's other fears - but some of it can be found here. WARNING ****  there are some pics and somethings that may be triggers**** So please be careful and be safe.

Kalisa is still her sweet 4 yr old self-no matter what people do to her.  She is so use to abuse that even now no matter what kind of abuse it may be... well she kinda just goes with the flow.   But she shouldnt be condemned and lied to.
And as they say - "if the truth hurts" -  tuff !!!!!

Surgery

This is Crystal-surgery will be Tuesday not Monday.
I hope that they can get the whole cyst and the infection out of that side of the face.
I am really over this!
Took the last antibiotic this AM - 3 weeks of super doses 2x a day - but it is not gone.
Can still squeeze the cyst and the crap still comes out.  I hope it doesnt get worse by Tues.
I have been really depressed.  I just feel someone else should be doing all this and not me-but there isnt any one.

Well K wants to write a note.
Dis bees  Kawesa
Eyes getting baby gracies  Mondays.  He bees  ats  de post offices.  Eyes  nameds  my utters  new babys  Corries.  He  bees a  grwhirls  babys.  He  bees  a goodeds  babys.
Now  eyes  gennas  dews  picsures.

SURPRISE ! SURPRISE ! written by Terry the Host of this Body

Well I guess I can say "Its my turn  now!"   This is Terry - the host of this run down abused body!
I checked out of reality about 6-7 yrs ago.  One day during therapy I decided that there wasnt any sense staying around since I couldnt work as a nurse any more.  The drs wouldnt or should I say didnt want me to work any more because of the DID and MS.  So by the age of 50  I was "retired".  And I can honestly say - I would sooner work then just sit around.  And with the last dr report- going both deaf and blind-why sit around? Wont be able to anything or enjoy anything...............

So I left Elizabeth take over- a responsible adult part - she did good - but couldnt control Kalisa.
No one can control Kalisa except her "new mommy" - who ditched her.  She could at least do a one liner of hi how are you or make her a picture.  That is all the kid needs to stay satisfied by her.  I mean she isnt asking her to be her therapist!

I see Kalisa has added to my doll collection-she has good taste!  I know she calls them her "babys".
 I do listen once in a while at what is going on  on the outside- especially with the drs.
That one dr did a number on my foot!  I can see why there is a wheel chair sitting in the kitchen! It is a wonder that I can stand on it!  I see why Crystal says that it needs redone.  That dr butchered it good!

And then this mess with the face- that dr needs sued!  A staph infection!!!!!  You get that mainly by unsterile technique during surgery!  If Crystal wouldnt have gone to another dr I would be dead by summer from it!
And the brain surgery - and Kalisa watching all the surgery from out of body.  Neat thing there that she can do.  And that thing being tied to her new mommy by that "silver thread"  as she calls it.  That kid can be a little strange at times.

I also see that there are a few more pets around.  When I decided to leave I only had a 6 lb poodle.  Now there are  4  - yes  4 red footed tortoises  in the house !  Crystal says that they are (2) 3 yr olds and (2) 4 yr olds and the oldest pair look like they are male and female- just what we need!
I have acquired a new flute and djembe drum.  The organ died so it didnt make the trip here to VA.  And books!  All kinds of books!  Looks like I have my very own library!

But the same old slow computer.  Crystal stated we had a small lap top which was stolen by the moving men along with a bunch of other stuff.  Some of the stuff K was very upset over when she found out that they stole it.
Too bad the district attorney's office didnt fix this thing when they had it for a year!  Yeah- the one that was thrown in jail for being a perp!  They had this hard drive for a year after they found out that the preps had tapped into it.  Guess he got his hands on it before they found anything and erased it.  It use to do really weird things and be turned on when I would get home(live alone).

The preps were still coaxing K to open the door and let them in or they would take her up until last April when we moved out of state.  Now we only have to worry about 1 guy 2 streets over - who doesnt know about our DID and past abuse.  The beginning of this blog was started when K was still being taken.   Has some of her hand drawn art work-warning is a little graphic sometimes.  Now she does most her work on "poly-bores"  as she calls it.

She does enjoy her friends that she has made there- she doesnt have anyone to talk to at all.  Only her poly friends.  No therapist here- live ON  top of a mountain!  Nothing here- no drs around-no one who even knows what DID is !And even a 2 hr drive- no dr there for DID either!
We plan to move after  my son has custody of his 2 sons.  Which might be soon.  Thank goodness for that!

Well I guess I will go back to "my place".  Nice a peaceful, quiet, relaxing-no worries-my very own little world!
I like it and just might stay there forever!  Not needed here any more... so.......Terry

My Turns-es !

Dis Kawesa.
It  bees  my  turns-es  toos  dews  some-fings  heres.

Eyes  gennas  writes  bouts  my  babys.

Dey  all  bees  goodeds  babys  cepts  Destinys.  He  bees  a baddeds  gwhirls  some-times-es.  He  cwrys  awots  some-time-es.  And  eyes  donts  knows  whys.

Butts  de  wests  of  my  babys  bees  goodeds  babys.

Eyes  gettings  my  berrys  owns  baby  gracies.  He  bees  heres  Crystals  sayeds  de 20  of  dis  monffs.

He  bees  my berrys  owns  and eyes  nots  habes  toos  gibes  hims  backs  toos  my  mommys.  My  mommy  gibeds  mees  her  baby  gracies  toos  watchs-es   and  dens  eyes  habes  toos  gibes  hims  backs  toos my  mommys.

Eyes  wikeds  dats  eyes  gettings  my  berry owns  baby  Gracies.  He  bees a goodeds  gwhirls  babys.

And  eyes  bees  gettings  a  cribs  fors  my  babys.  It  gennas  bees  a  white  Jenny Lind  cribs.

Harmonys-my torgus(tortoise) he  beings  baddeds.  He  means  toos  Taos.  Harmonys  bees  a  boys  torgus  and Taos  bees   a gwhirls  torgus.  Sometime-es  eyes  habes  toos  takes  Harmonys  ways  froms  Taos.

Harmonys  madeds  Taos, Ashsia  and  Hopes  falls  obers  ons  deres  backs.  Ashsia  and  Hopes  stwill  bees  wittles  and  Harmonys   bees  means  toos  dems.

Ashsia  hurteds  his  wittle  weg.  Dis  ones  heres  ins  de  backs.  Butts  eyes  finks  its  bees  gettings  a wittles  betters.  He  nots  wimps  toos  much  ons  its  nows.

And Hopes  bees  fraids  ofs  Harmonys  nows.

Eyes  habes  toos  watcheds  Harmonys  wots  durings  de  days  toos  makeds  shores  he  nots  bees  toos  means  toos  de  utter  torgues-es.

Eyes  takeds  cares  of my babys  and eyes  dews  picsures  on  poly-bores.

Sometimes-es  eyes  pways  games-es  ons  facebooks-es.
And  eyes  habes  my  fuffs deres  toos.  Eyes  wishs-es  my  mommy gibes  mees  backs  Emmies  sews  eyes  cans  pets  him.  She takeds  him  ways  cuz  she  foughts  Crystal  makeds  a picsure  bouts  hers  butts  its  bees  bouts  a  means  mans-es ons  de wittles  phones-es.  Sews  dens  my  mommys  takeds  ways  Emmies.
Eyes  misses  Emmies.  Eyes cwryeds  whens  my  mommys  takeds  hims  ways.

Eyes  nots  habes  a  fair-a-fists  toos  tallkeds  toos  no  mores.  Deres  nots  bees  ones  heres  and wheres  we  goes  toos  de  doc-ers   deys  nots  habes  ones  toos  takeds  cares  ofs  mees.  Sews  eyes  nots  habes  no bodys  toos  talkeds  toos  bouts  de baddeds   mans-es  and  badded  boys-es.
Crysals  sayeds  dats  we  mights  nebers  habes  a  fair-a-fists  gens.

Its  justeds  bees  mees  and  Crystals  wrights  nows.  Wizbeths  comeds  outs  de utters  days  at  de
doc-ers  cuz  she  bees  maddeds  ats  hims.  Sews  she  bees  outs  justeds  wittle  bits  and  dens  wents  ways  gens.  Crystals  dribes  de  cars  and dews  pisures  some-time-es  ons  poly-bores  and  writes  ons  heres  sometimes-es.  She  pways  games-es  toos.  And coloreds  picsures.

Whens  its  wrains  heres eyes  getteds  scares  cuz  dats  bees  whens  de  baddeds  mans-es  getteds  mees.  We  habes  wots  of  wrains  heres.  Butts  de  baddeds  mans-es  nots  getteds  mees  yets.  Maybees  he  bees  fraids  of  Annies  - dats  be Brandons  doggies.

Eyes  misses  my  mommys  and  my  friends-es.  Deres  bees  some  friends-es  eyes  habes  ons  poly-bores.  Eyes  wikes  its  whens  deys  gibes  mees  wittle  wetters.  Eyes  bees  saddeds  whens  deys  bees  sickeds  and  hurts.  Eyes  wishs-es  dats  no  bodys  ebers  habes  toos  bees  sicked  and  hurteds  and dats  utter  means  and baddeds  peoples  hurteds  demes.

Eyes  finkeds  eyes  gennas  dews  picsures  ons  poly-bores  now.

Overdue Posting

Well we didnt like the results of all the dr appointments last month!  And everytime we go we just get more appointments!
The CT of the head showed that the MS is getting worse-not surprised at that.  It has been so stable that is was soon time to hear that it was getting worse!
And the neck! Well every vertebrae in the neck has something wrong with it! And none of that is fixable!  SO that is just more pain that we have to live with!

And this face thing! I am well over that!  I am so tired of that pain and the horrible drainage(in the mouth) !
I fired the dr who did the surgery -last week.  And am going to a dr who actually is helping the problem!
He drained the cyst and got 45 + cc of fluid out of it.  That is alot fluid!  The other dr would not drain it.
He just kept saying "It is healing-there isnt anything wrong with it."
Yeah -right!  It has eaten the bone away in 2 places, eaten down through the sinus track and the crappy fluid is a staph infection-which he was not treating because according to him-"there is nothing wrong with it".

So now I am on 3 weeks of antibiotics!  And have to have surgery on it again! (May 17th) !
Thank you turkey butt doctor!!!!
I just hope the the numbness on the left side of the face goes away!  I end up chewing or biting my lip because I cant feel it!

I think on Tuesday we have to go to the eye dr-she is doing more testing on the eyes because we are going blind!  That will be terrible! Kalisa wont know what to do if we cant see!
And we should be getting our hearing aids any day now.  That will be nice-we will be able to hear the TV now!

And that poor foot didnt heal right from the surgery in Nov.  So that has to be redone!  This body is just one great big mess!
And I still would like a better or different job as an alter!  Or better yet- just do what Terry and Elizabeth did-leave and not come back!
This is too much for a 16 yr old!

Overwhelmed!

This is Crystal -how do I get a NEW job as an alter????
Yesterday "we" had to get up at 3 AM to be at the VA hospital in Johnson City by 8AM.
We had 3 appoinments -which turned into 5 and was there from 7 AM till 4 PM !
The first was a neurology appoint - to exstablish with that dept "our" MS and 3 yr ago removal of 2 brain tumors.  Well...when they did that shine the light into your eye bit- the pupils did NOT react to the light !
Not good-not good at all! This appoinment lasted 1 1/2 hrs long!
Well that resulted into 2 appointments this Sunday AM - a CT scan of the brain and CT scan of the cervical spine(neck) to see what is going on.  That means a 2 hr drive down and back on Sunday! :(

The next appointment (1 hr long it lasted) was for hearing.  Well....make the story short..."we" get 2 hearing aids-will be ready in about 2 months.  Going deaf.....
Now K was really good when they squirted that silcone stuff in the ears to make the molds.
How she will do with hearing aids in the ears all the time-that will be interesting !

So the we snuck in some lab work and because we are diabetic - a visit to the nurse to "learn how" to use an accu ck machine.  That was a laugh! That appoint was scheduled for the 12th but I was not driving 2 hrs just for that!  Such a waste of time and money!

Then after a tastless hamburger the last appontment was a 2 hr one in the eye clinic!
Well- yes we need new glasses  but we were NOT ready for the "you are going blind" !
Was asked by the dr if we were ever in a car wreck and hit the back of our head- the answer was no to that.
But then I am not one to give answers to the medical history of this body.
The right eye has sever scar tissue on the optic nerve- not too much can be done for that....but the left eye the optic nerve is being tore away from the eye ball - options- dr said right now it is not too bad- has to be watched and cked every 4 months - if gets worse - poss surgery to TRY - yes that is what she said - TRY to fix it.
With the surgery either they can fix it or you end up blind in that eye because they cant fix it.

So today "we" were told that we are going deaf and blind!
How nice !
I want a different job!
I dont want to do this any more!

post surgery

Well the results of surgery are not good-I find out monday if it is cancer.
The dr said that it was NOT an abscess. He called it a "mass".
He had to scrap the bones on the left side of the face and from right below the left eye to the bottom lip and from the left side of the nose to the left side of the face the whole way to the other side of the cheek.
The entire face on the left side and the lips both top and bottom are swollen and all the pain med they put inside the face during surgery is now worn off.
It hurts sooooo  bad!

Kalisa has even stayed inside since surgery- I dont blame her- I would too if I could...
Hey what would happen if NO ONE would come out?  If there isnt an alter at all out?
What would happen to the body if no one would decide to be out?
Anyone have any idea?

Surgery Postponed-again!

This is Crystal.  Well our abscess surgery has been postponed again !  They were going to do it this coming week but the nurse forgot that the anesthesiologist had to see us.  So they wanted to do it the next week but the dr only operates on Weds and Evan has an appointment we cant miss ...so it got moved to 3/2.

So in the mean time we have to drain that abscess several times a day by pinching it and letting it drain !  Bad part about it -it drains into our mouth!  The fork went into the top of the gum line when I fell and the prong of the fork went WAY up inside!  And then it did what the dr called tunneling up towards my nose above the teeth roots and then into the inside of the part of your mouth above your lip.  There it created a plum size abscess!

When I went to the ER they did a CT scan on it and the mass is pretty big on the inside-bigger then what it looks like from the outside!  So I have to drain it till surgery.  I take 2 pain pills before I do it.  It is rather painful and being on blood thinners (because of a bad heart problem)  pinching it causes my face to get black and blue. (Have to do it 2-3x a day)  So I look real cute !  So that is a daily chore several times a day.  K doesnt stay out for the draining part but she is in the back ground that I am aware of.

Kalisa wanted someone to type for her...
Dis  bees  Kawesa.  Eyes  gotteds  my news  babys  yes-er-days.   Eyes  nots  wikeds  de  dresses  she  habes  ons  sews  eyes  getted  her  differents  crow-es. (clothes)   Dey   bees  warmeds  crow-es  and  she  habes  fings  ons  her  feets-es..  My  mommy  nots  putted  socks-es  and  shoes-es  ons  her  babys  feets.  And  eyes  knoweds  dats  deres  feets-es  getteds  coldeds.
Eyes  habes  toos  finks  ofs  a goodeds  names-es  fors  my new  babys.

Eyes  madeds  bal-in-tines-es  fors  my  mommys.  Eyes  hopeds  dats  she  wookeds  ats  its.  Eyes  wisheds  she  talkeds  toos  mees  and gibes  mees  Emmies  backs.  Eyes  nots  dews  nuff-fings  and she  takeds  ways  Emmies.  She  getteds  maddeds  cuz  Crystals  makeds  picsure  bouts  de  means  mans-es  ons  de wittles  phones-es.  And  my  mommys  finks  dats  its  bees  bouts  hers  buts  its  nots  bees  bouts  hers.  De  means  mans-es  ebens  madeds  Crystals  cwrys!
Eyes  wishes dats  my  mommys  bees  wikes  she  bees  afores.  Whens  she  bees  niceds  toos  mees.
Buts  eyes  stwills  lubes  hers  cuz  eyes  always  wills  lubes  hers.  Fors  for-ebers  ands  a days !

Eyes  finkeds  dats  eyes  habes  toos  makeds  picsures  nows.

Joined New Group

This is Crystal
"We" joined the Suvivors Group on line - I wrote to shattergirl to be her friend-
I hope there will be others that email us...
K is still crying about Emmie her fluff friend which has been blocked from her-just because someone
thought wrong.....she feels so hurt...she is really innocent in this matter...and things shouldnt be taken out on her because of others.....
There just is no fairness in life.

More post - Fluff Friend

The is Crystal
Kalisa is extremely upset!  She just went to do her fluff friends and found out that one that she petted daily was removed!
This is because that person thinks a pic on ployvore referred to er.  IT  DID  NOT !
It was done because of a VA representative that ticked me off over the phone !
Now K is hurt once again by this person for no reason at all !  Ready to jump to conclusions and point a finger and she is in the wrong !
Poor Kalisa.
Maybe Nonna can help- K is crying so bad right now !

Why cant people be nice to Kalisa?  What did she ever do to them ?

Will try again

This is Crystal- well the fingers are working a little bit better right now.
Let Kalisa play on polyvore and make pics- Nonna a new alter took her to the "Energy House" as she calls it.
I guess it is a meditation temple of some kind.
Terry the host, has all the chakra healing books and things from years ago.  She was into that.
Kalisa calls meditation - "med-cine-nations."

K got to talk to 2 of her polyvore friends and got another new friend there.  She is always happy when someone talks to her.  No one talks to her but there any more.
She is waiting for her new doll to come- it is just now being made.  I hope she will like it.

Her new mommy got a doll from where K gets hers - but it sounds like they sent her the wrong doll!  I hope not-the doll she said she ordered was more then the one it sounds like they sent here.  She needs to ck that out! These are not cheap dolls!

Well I guess I will try the games and see if the brain and eye-hand thing is working.
I hate it when the MS kicks in and the body doesnt want to cooperate !

Bad Morning

This is Crystal - I guess I need to blog more here.
I was going to play the hand-eye-brain coordination games ( good for my MS problem) but the brain isnt working at all this AM !  Typing is even very slow !
Maybe I will go to polyvore instead...

Empath

This is Crystal  -  I  just wanted to explain that Kalisa is an empath.(sp ?)  She is so tied "by my silbers freds"(silver thread) to her mommy -that this whole week is a -if you can call it- a repeat -replay of her mommy's life.
K made "anger" pics, worried about her new doll, checking on it and being disappointed that there will be a delay in delivery, the same kind and spots of pain in the body,etc,etc......
There are many weeks like this.  K knows what is going on with her and how she feels.
K can also astral project.  She does this alot during surgery-both her's and her mommy's.

She knew about her mommy's car wreck and warned her to be careful before it happened that day.I guess that would be called a vision (?).  Yes K is psychic.  I guess that can be both good and bad.
Bad because she can feel the sadness and depression of her mommy but good for K so that she knows her mommy is OK.
I dont know if her mommy believes this-but it is true.

Maybe then some of the stuff K says will make more sense to others when she says certain things.
And there a great carry over I noticed in pics on polyvore at times-some times even the same pic is used and that is really weird when K hasnt seen any pics her mommy has made that day. 
It gives me a spooky feeling.  I guess I need to get use to those kinds of feelings.  I dont feel them all the time- just when that little stinker lets her guard down a little!
Oh well I hear her yelling that she isnt a little stinker! She wants to make pics on polyvore.
Guess my time is up for now! Later.- Crystal

Another Day

This is Crystal. I guess  I am not very good at keeping this up.  Kalisa has been out alot lately-sick- but out doing her thing.
It is 3 degrees outside right now-even the dogs dont like to go out!
It is suppose to snow all week-we already have a foot of snow-we dont need any more!
Have to go to Johnson City Wed for drs appointments-hope it doesnt snow too bad till then.
The foot isnt healing very well and the month needs surgery.

K is getting a new "baby"..was her "Kiss-miss-es prize".
It is depressing knowing that all the professionals have given up on us. How will we ever heal without any help?  I would like to heal.  Kalisa is so strong without any guidance from the outside.
I just dont know what to do.

Alters use to be in the "back ground" but I dont even feel them there anymore.  It is like they are all hiding - just waiting...maybe to see what is going to happen...or waiting for their turn...Anthony who was in "his room" even seems to be emerging in the back ground.... seems as though all the work that was done is now just about all undone.

It is like a dark cave with you standing at the entrance..you want to go in but you dont know what is there...
you are in limbo........