Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Wish

Wish "our" life was normal - but then again"we" dont even know what "normal" is !  Never have had a normal life.
Right now "we" are still fighting the side effects from the 2 brain surgeries we had.  That side of our whole face still swells- bad enough that the eye even swells shut!  And that is from just bending over too much and or doing too much lifting.  It will stay like that for about a week or two and then slowly go down.  Hurts like the dickens also !
Then to top it off the injury to the gum on the same side (fell with a fork in my mouth and the prong of the fork went into the gum) and that is now infected and also swollen !  I drain that just about every day.  It had tunneled from the area of the injury up above the gum towards the nose.  SO it drains pretty good at times!
The one dr said that it ia a surgery thingy- have to have it cut opened and drained and packed!
What fun!  Kalisa said no to that!  So it will be fun having it done.

She is still all out of sorts!  Most of her babies are out in the bedroom now.  Still have a few more boxes to unpack-but with the face swelling- it has been slow going.  Unpack some-wait till the face goes down and then unpack some more.  Maybe in another month it will all be unpack.

The other day while on polyvore doing some art therapy- a set of twin alters made themselves known-but they didnt do any art.  They are around 9 yrs old-girls.
Kalisa says it is scary around here.  Lot of mexicans here- a meth lab in the one trailer across the street, guns going off at night, people smoking pot outside the bedroom window, and that sort of thing going on here.
Is that considered having a normal life?
What is considered having a normal life?  I am Crystal - writing this.  I never had to be the alter that did major things.  Wish the person who doesnt want to write to us would.
She could give her opinion or advice - just as one person to another.  That would help.
I need someone to talk to. Just another person who understands what goes on with a DID life.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Thought it would be safe here....

Oh well, guess the fantasy world is up now!  Thought we would be safe here.

Two nights ago - gun shots right outside the door! Not just once but twice!  The poor dogs had to hold everything till the AM to go out!  Poor things!
K was besides herself!  She said "they" were coming to get her and take her away and lock her in jail again!
There is this one creepy man that is always walking around and outside when the dogs are walked.  Dont know if he is good or bad-K doesnt say anything about him.  She does comment on some of the kids that are playing outside at times.  She says that some of them are not "goodeds  kids-es".  I gave up asking her how she knows things like that.
But I have learned to trust her word on people and things that happen or will happen.  She is spooky that way...the psychic things she has about her......

We have been going through the art work on polyvore and putting them in collections-some of them trigger K....we have 29 more pages of them to "file".
Then I hope they can be filed as they are done.  The same with the pics that have been saved- now there are quite a few pages of them to sort through!

Well k is coming out.....

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Profound Observation by K

This is Elizabeth - I know I havent been around much-but there really hasnt been a need for me to be out.
But I just thought I would make this entry after observing K after Crystal read her a book- it was just a 150 page story. K picked out the book herself.

After the end of the book K had such a serious but puzzling look on her face that Crystal ask her what was wrong,
And K said (for the sake of the readers I will "spell" words correctly here rather then in K's way)
"Thats be just likes me and my mommys!  They had a gold thread and me and my mommy have a silver thread!  And I llike that their thread never can be broken just like me and my mommys! And it is just like a rainbow-it stretches as high and as wide as one and never can be broken!"
K was referring to the bond a mother and child has - which was stated in part of this story and also referring to her bond with her mommy.

Then the story went on about forgiveness, love and understanding.
Crystal had to explain to her what an "ego" is.
And then K understood what was meant by it is difficult for a person to forgive because of a person's ego - because a person can be afraid of being hurt again. This is what this story was about.
That a person needed to become like a little child- trusting, loving and forgiving.
And after that the ice in your heart melts away and you can find a peace that maybe you have never had.
This is what K ask if this is what was meant by the story.  Those were not K's words but this is what she meant.

Then K said " Sews  dats  means-es  dats  eyes  needs  forgibes  my  mommys  cuz  shes  bees  sews  maddeds  ats  mees -wrights? "
Crystal told her yes. 
The K said "Buts  eyes  nots  bees  maddeds  ats  my  mommys  buts  eyes  forgibes  hers  fors  beings  maddeds  ats  mees.  Sews  dens  yous  finks  dats  ifs  eyes  sends  hers  nice  warm  huggs-es  dats  her  hearts  ices  getteds  melteds  and dens  she  gibes  mees  wittle  wetters  agains?  huh?
She  gibes  ebery bodys  eleses  wittle  wetters  wiffs  de  picsures - sews  dens  she  gibes  mees  wittle  wetters  wiffs  picsures."
Crystal just gave a big sigh.
K went on to say "De  wittle girls in de story  sayeds  dats  de  wady(lady)  bees  stuckeds  wiffs  hers  sews  eyes  guesses  dats  my  mommys  bees  stuckeds  wiffs  mees!  Dats  bees  cuz  eyes  lubes  my mommys  berry berry  muchs-es!"
So much for reading storys to K !