Monday, March 9, 2009
If you have no intention of keeping a promise dont lie about it or be deceitful about it - be an adult and tell the child like it is. The truth may hurt them but a lie will hurt even more and be remembered a long time afterwards! And that goes for both internal and external children!
I check the posts from a person "we" know and it is so amazing how her and Kalisa's collages have the same themes and types of pictures in them on them same days.
Kalisa says it is because of "their silber freds" (silver thread).
That is part of their bond - but it is really spooky to see the similarities in the collages and know that both of them were working on them at approximately the same time. But the collages have different meanings for each person.
Why am I sad?
Because I know that Kalisa's misses her"friend" so much and is so in tune with her that it hurts me. And I think I shed just as many tears because of this as Kalisa does because of not seeing or hearing from her friend.
How do you explain the reason of why all this is happening to an innocent 4 yr old?
So why then do people think you are stupid and lie to you?
This body is totally useless. Our lives are totally meaningless. No one cares. No one calls, no one comes by, there is absolutely NO outside contact except for doctors. And why go to them? Only to get more pills shoved down my throat. And for what? A pill collection?
I let K out alot - there really isnt any reason even for me - Elizabeth. Kalisa is sometimes just happy playing. But the desertion is even getting to her. She is getting to the point where she doesnt care if the "badded boyses" do anything to her. That is because there isnt anyone out there that cares - basically who gives a damn!
Loneliness is like hate - it can consume you.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Kalisa was taken again by those jerks! I dont know what trigger they are using to get her to open the door - it is a new one. And I cant figure it out!
They gave her something- besides a laxative because she got sick from what ever they gave her and she started to vomit so they brought her back home but not before they gave her a laxative on top of whatever made her sick. Made her extremely dizzy also. The laxative I guess is punishment for not being a "good girl" for them! A****holes!!!!!!!!!
She has been busy making her "picsures". She has all kinds! She would like to learn how to do the computer herself but she wont let anyone out long enough to learn how.
She is in control again - only lets bigs out when necessary. I guess that is why this place still isnt together. If she would just let me out for about 2 days - 2 days where you arent sick - I could get this place together and then she wouldnt have to go through containers looking for things.
Ugh!!! The people upstairs must have glued something! The glue smell is drifting down here! Sure hope it wont hurt the "torguses"!
Harmony tried to get out this AM. He couldnt quite reach high enough to get his front let up to the bottom of the door - sooo- he got the bright idea if just maybe - if he stood on top of Ashiee - he would be high enough to reach the bottom of the door and pull himself up! He probably would have made it out but Ashiee just didnt like the idea of having that lard a*** stand on top of him!!! SO Ashiee foiled Harmony's plan and moved! Harmony fell over!
Wish I had my camera handy- would have made some good pics!
Was the only good chuckle is the pass month or so! K wants to do a post but I am not up to her mood right now so she will just have to wait!
Too many - too much going on upstairs right now in my head! It is like a shouting match - no stopping it! Like bombs going off inside your head! And then the bodys pain has been really bad lately. The heart isnt doing very well-the other night I thought it was just going to stop! It would do that horrible flip flopping that it does! That is the most horrible feeling ever!