HELP MEES PEASE ???????

The emotions are beginning to get extremely raw. This is Kalisa's latest collage - the one above - she gets older parts to help her with the "numbers" (letters) and what things say. And then she tells them what to write (type).
There are many blogs on DID - oh - they are there if you look. And there are some that ask for every one's help in this problem of child abuse and DID survivor abuse.
But the blogs and the plea for help are only as good as the people who see and hear what they say.
Sometimes an army is defeated.
Sometimes it only takes one person to defeat that army.

This - will take first a person who hears and believes.
That person can be you or someone you know, a doctor, a therapist - not necessarily a professional person - but that one person who is willing to help - listen and care.
If there is a doctor or a therapist out there who understands about DID/abuse from it and willing to working with a victim - maybe just maybe - that is where the army begins to be built.

With one person helping another person understand what is happening and being done to them - so they can try and make themselves safe and learn to cope and live a life where they do not need to fear to live.

Yes government needs to do something also - but while waiting for them to do something about it - what about helping the victims now? Where is the help that they need ever so badly today- right now?
Some victims are very lucky and they have an understanding therapist - but those therapists are few and far between.

What needs to be done to keep the therapists that are educated in this already to stay and help these victims? It is fine wanting to get more therapists educated- but what are the children right now suppose to do - keep suffering until more therapists are educated? How long will that take? No one is listening.
Children are suppose to suffer for how long?
Eyes nots wants toos subbers nos mores !!!!! Pease helps mees! Kawesa

Take my hand - help me.

WHO - WHAT - WHY ??????????

WHO ?

DAMN IF I KNOW !!!

ME?

WHO KNOWS !!!!!

?????????

Never-Ending Story ?

Kalisa's before "Kiss-miss" pictures.
They cant even let her alone
before the holidays.
This one at the bottom has
a drawing she added-she said that they picked her up and were going to throw her in a hole in the ground that they dug and that there was a "bigs boxes downs ins de dirts dats deys gennas frows mees ins."

This body cant take much more - the meds for the MS are not working any more - been to the hospital every day for the past week -

The heart is going to have to be redone - that is if it can be redone- fine that out next week -

Kalisa hasnt even opened her "Kiss-miss"presents. They are just sitting there collecting dust. Some nights she is so scared -

Scared of what might happen if those creeps show up and then scared also because of this heart just flipping and flopping all around in the chest. Afraid to go to sleep because she may not wake up. She calls on her "wittle phonses" to the only person she trusts. It gives her some comfort - some nights it doesnt any more. And that even scares me! She is really what keeps this body going but there just isnt the energy there any more.

She lets her"energy field" down some -I guess because of the medical state that the body is in - she was talking to a little bunny the other day- and it was really sad - she knows she is dying - that this body is dying - I guess she gets some "crossover" from Anastasia- our inner wisdom part - she was telling the bunny that is was o-tays (OK) to be sad and that it was o-tays to crys because that is all a part of life and death. And that "ebery-bodys" has to "cepts" (except) that as part of life. Even if it makes your "bestest" friend sad and feel like crying.

Then she told the bunny she wished that her "wittle phoneses" friend would feels betters so she would come and talk to her before she dies. She cried then and hugged the bunny. She told the bunny between snobs that would make her so happy. But how do I tell a 4 yr old that that most likely wont happen? How can I crush her last ray of hope ? I cant do it - I just cant do it. That is her only last thread of hope here on this earth and if I tell her that will never happen - we are all dead. She will give up totally and die. She wont have anything to care about.

DIDing (Spacing) Out

I am sitting here trying to do things on the computer - head hurts because it is cold outside and plate in head makes it hurt even worse. It is coming out ASAP! Go to dr tomorrow to see when it can come out.

Kalisa popped out for awhile on here - always interesting to come back and find a different screen then what you were doing. She was gaming.

I was going to fix the cellar door - the one that leads into this room from the outside. Someone tried to get in last night around 3 AM. They didnt get to far! That bookcase was the best thing to set in front of it!
I was going to fasten it shut and put plastic over it from this side - cold draft comes from under it. Have to do it so it is a permanent thing.

But Kalisa popped out - I think it was because I did too much this AM and was starting to hurt really bad- chest pain and back pain - so I had to stop working and sat down here to rest and out she popped!

Wish she would clean! She is happy right now - got her a little ladder wall rack for her story books- put it together and she put her books on it. Now she has all her toys in one corner of the bedroom. That is "her" area.
All her other things -"babies" are in their "beds" in the living room and bedroom. Some of her beds for them are big and she has a real baby bassinet and several real baby bouncers for her"babies". They take up alot of room!

Just glad all the rest of this body's parts (30 some) dont pop in and out like Kalisa does! That would be too much for me to handle! Several do come out - Sadie is an adult part that is the "shopper". She did a real number with credit cards several Christmases ago.
There are several parts that come out here on the computer but not like Kalisa or Sadie or me.
And then a lot of the parts do collages and or write in journals. Most just do collages.

Well at least whoever tried to get in last night - didnt and Kalisa stayed in and here and safe. Maybe it wasnt the preps. Great! Just what I need - another kind of a**hole bothering me!!!
We have snow and ice right now- so I hope the preps keep away. It is way too cold for them to take her any where.

Daily Difference in Alters

This is how I, Elizabeth, feel today. Angry, hurt, confused and in both emotional and physical pain.
This body is crap! I need an overhaul - major one !


I was just visiting Terry's site (host's name) where she keeps all of us listed.
How she remembers everyone I dont know.


Are protectors, and Guides and wisdom "people" considered parts and are all "parts" considered alters?
Or are alters only the parts that "switch" or "come out"?


This is too much to think about right now.



This is how Kalisa feels right now.
I am glad that she feels so happy right now.
Someone in this body needs to feel happy!

ME INSIDE

INVADERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the diseases this body has - all the illness that can not be fixed - all the germs and imperfections..........

All the pain that is has .......... never goes away even with the strongest pain medication.........

Why do I have to suffer with all this agony and then have DID on top of everything else?

WHY ?

Why do the preps still have to bother me? Why dont people believe? I am not crazy?

How much more can this body take?

Will there ever be an end?

When will then end ever come?

WHO AM I ???????

Notice the small images inside the head - alters!

But who am I?

What am I?

Where do they all come from?

Where do they all hide?

How many are in there?

Answers.

Where are all the answers?