Friday, November 14, 2008

daily reminders 11.14.08

It seems no matter how hard you try and get away from anything that reminds you that you are a "DID" victim - something - something every day is there to remind you of what you have been robbed of.

No harm intended - but someone reminded me that the new James Bond movie started today. I would love to go and see it - but I cant.

I cant because I cant go into the dark movie theater - all I know is that something happened once in a dark place similar to a movie theater and I am reminded of a trauma that took place in my early years.

What it is exactly - I do not remember. Just that something terrible happened and I cant sit in a movie theater with someone behind me or the possibility of someone walking up behind me in the dark.

Simple every day things like this - DID victims are robbed of the pleasure that other people take for granted. Going to the store is a chore - I hate shopping.
I have been followed to the store , inside the store and back out again by perps.

Even have a picture of one of the perps.
This pic along with the license plate # of the car he was in - along with a pic of the car was given to the police department.
What happened after this was done? NOTHING !!!!!!!!

Absolutely nothing! I was then known as the "crazy lady". Even with my therapist verifying that this did happen (she was there and took the pics) the police still did not believe me that someone was following me let alone taking me (Kalisa) and raping me at their will.

Anything the police were told was heard with deaf ears.
I never received any help from the police department.

As a matter of fact along with medical personnel ( and I hate to admit it being a nurse myself and having worked in the hospital that I was taken to) the police person and the EMTs all stood at the nurses station of the ER I was taken to after being raped one night - stood laughing - yes laughing at me and making fun of me because I was just the "crazy lady" with the multiple personalities.
And this was done in such a loud manner that alot of other people around the area could easily hear what was being said.
This definitely violated my HIPPA rights. And not one person was reprimanded for this.

So not only are every day pleasures robbed from you but you also have to put up with the ignorance of people not knowing what DID is and the proper way to handle situations dealing with "littles" and other alter personalities of a DID person.

I dont know if other DID people find this happening in their lives. But this is how it seems my days go. I guess I just look at DID in my life as another medical problem to handle. Just one of the 30 some medical things that are wrong with this body. I guess I should be happy that there isnt a pill just for DID. That would mean another pill to swallow! That would be more to add to the 40 some pills and 2 shots a day that I take to stay alive!

Some days it doesnt seem worth the bother to swallow all them.
But that would be Charlie talking. He is my "you must die" alter. He has his own art work he has done. When I figure out what happened to the scanner then I can share some of his art work.

Oh well -

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